i’m not completely sure if it’s 100% my fault.
i know i insist on making things a little more whacky, but are all the things that come at me, because of me?
right now i’ve got that feeling in my head where everything is all jumbled up from being so upset, it goes down to my belly where it feels like it’s grumbling without actually moving. i feel so sad having no friends here, i hate to say i only have him, because using the word only makes it seem like it’s not enough, but i’ve only got my boyfriend; he’s all i have for 2,000 miles, and i’m starting to feel like he’s not attracted to me anymore or that i’m doing something very wrong even though he says that’s not true. i’m not sure if i don’t understand relationships or if i don’t understand him. we’ve been arguing too much lately and it really hurts me. i don’t want that at all. i wish we could just talk about it but he gets so angry when i try. isn’t that the only way to fix things, to talk them out and find the solution? how else am i supposed to go about this? should i not want to be everything and more that he wants, is that overwhelming? i wish i could ask him one million questions without actually asking him and making him feel harassed and annoyed. i feel so stupid every time i think of who i am. am i justified in getting upset when he laughed and asked why my hair is poofy because i tried so hard to look cute just for him? it was mildly humiliating. god even typing this out seems so dumb, i feel like a little girl writing in her diary. who else am i going to let this out to, i don’t have any friends. i thought the fact that i have a full time job would make things better, because then we wouldn’t be spending 24/7 together, but that’s not the case at all. i feel like this is out of my control and might be a lost cause — i beg to whatever that it isn’t.
men moaning is basically the hottest thing a guy can do besides give you neck kisses
I wish I had a female friend to help me zip my dress 😔 my boyfriend just doesn’t understand